Change of Direction

Initially, this blog was supposed to detail not only my exploits in my attempt to run 3 half marathons on 2 coasts and 3 triathlons in half a year but also a little something else too. Well, several months have passed since my only post so far- the introductory one - and I've run my 3 half marathons. I finished one on each coast to earn my Coast to Coast Challenge medal and I finished the one in the middle of the country in personal record time, shattering my 11-year-old PR by 7 minutes. And instead of completing 3 triathlons, I did 4. I didn't make my first century bike ride but I did get a metric century in instead. So after the last 7 months and all the checked goals later, I should be feeling pretty good about myself right? Not exactly and that's where the dual meaning of this blog name comes in.

See the struggles I faced in my training went right along with my struggles to accept myself. To accept that I'm enough. That's a road I've been on for the last year and a half.

Like the physical training you need to do to prepare for races comes with surges and setbacks, I've often felt that my quest to be mentally healthier is one step forward, two steps back. But unlike training for races where you complete the race and are "done", my other struggle - I'll call it my sanity project - has no finish line.

I've begun to see my twin quests as parallels in my life. My physical training is a great way to clear my head so I can focus on the sanity project. But it can also be one heck of a good way to avoid focusing on it too. It's a precarious balance.

The road I'm on has smooth spots and it has potholes. The interesting and terrifying thing is that you never know which section of road you're coming up on.